Forged in the fires of hell in the mid 1800’s, Paul Marston’s early career focused on finance, quickly rising to the position of Governor of the Bank of England. His 15 year term ended in 1874 when Paul was 22 at which point the mechanic in Paul drove him to an apprenticeship with a growing firm of mechanics in Germany. His first world-acclaimed invention was the Internal Combustion Engine which debuted in the 1897 Daimler-Benz motor car.
Having secreted millions away for later life from the patents, Paul turned his hand to Politics. Having dabbled in Chinese Politics and been crowned Emperor of China in 1906, Paul decided to return to the UK and help the domestic economy. Paul spent 30 years writing all of the laws we now enjoy in this country before deciding on Prime Minister. Running Winston Churchill close for PM before WWII, Paul’s interest in politics waned as he changed to head up the British Army and tackle European reform from the front-line.
During the early part of 1940, Paul could be found single-handedly driving a tank around northern France, annihilating French, German, English and Polish soldiers with equal abandon, stopping only for the odd baguette and glass of wine. French folk-lore attributed Paul with holding off the German advance and foiling Rommel’s invasion strategy. He was also instrumental in destroying 471 Zeppelin airships with a home-made catapult and his travels inspired him to name the countries he visited ‘Europe’. Paul’s trusty tank was later re-painted and can now be found in the PMR pits masquerading as Grumpy’s Dodge. This has recently been joined by Postman Pat’s red Shogun which protégé Gary has ruined with a garish Hulk decal.
The early 50’s were Paul’s glory days, using his status as war hero and National Treasure to secure the rights to the music of many famous Bands. Elvis was his first major signing and the royalties from his music now funds the PMR team transporter. Moving into the 60’s Paul joined the secret service and these days, the film Austin Powers is an accurate representation of Paul’s time with MI5, the ‘swinging’ sixties so named as a tribute to his legendary sexual prowess and home-made hammocks.
The 70’s was a bit of a blur, between causing and then ending the fuel crisis by driving and then resting his stable of drag racers, Paul started working on what was to become an 80’s sensation – Duran Duran. Constructed from military grade titanium, these robots were nothing short of ground-breaking, although a little wooden in their acting on stage. The prototypes were replaced by the more feminine mkII robots named ‘The Spice Girls’ in the 90’s who moved with more fluidity at the expense of reduced vocal harmony.
It was the 90’s when Paul retired from serious business and started drag-racing full-time. Moving from Capri to Camaro, Paul proceeded to buy cars without selling any of the old ones. Grumpy’s Dodge was next, fresh from having the gun-turret removed, followed by the PT Bruiser which was created by the American Air Force using stealth technology. The Vega appeared in early 2001, and in 2003 the Alien Altered was re-appropriated from a bunch of French Bandits in Toulouse through winning an arm-wrestle with Arnold Schwartzenegger. The Chevy Monza was won in a game of chess against former World Champion Garry Kasparov that lasted nearly 4 months, bringing the car tally to 7.
Finally running out of floor-space in the kitchen come garage of his 1 bedroom maisonette, Paul was forced to sell the Alien to a local bullion dealer for 200 kilos of assorted gold chains and the Star of Africa diamond. In what can only be described as a moment of madness, Paul then turned his hand to trailer collection, a lovely display of which can be seen on any racing day at Santa Pod.
In 2004, Paul started the UK’s first Drag Race Driving school and Passenger Ride school. Among his first 5 guests were Margaret Thatcher, Stephen Hawking, Bruce Forsyth, Charles Windsor and Monica Lewinsky. It was about this time that the patented ‘turd-proof’ seat covers were invented and fitted to the Passenger Ride cars, an invention that still provides over £1.6bn of net income per year to the team.
2006 holds a lot in store, alongside a full seasons Drag Racing, Paul is simultaneously running for President of the USA, President of Cuba, Prime Minister and is short-listed for both the Nobel Peace Prize and the Mann Booker Prize, having recently released the sixth of his 7 Harry Potter books under pseudonym JK Rowling. His cinematic interests have dwindled of late, Paul was hoping to release Godzilla II and III, but feels that devoting time to advanced special effects is not constructive considering his pioneering software is now available to film producers as a windows compatible CD following the merger of PMR and Microsoft late last year.
A keen gymnast, Paul will also be trying out for the 2012 Olympic team and on his free evenings, hopes to perfect a cure for the common cold. His progress on this front was held up by his intensive training for the 2006 Boat Race which he won with 7 amateurs, netting him an honorary degree in advanced Bio-Genetics from Oxford University.
Should you wish to contact Paul about any of his achievements, his Guinness World Record as the world’s oldest man or his unofficial 100m World Record of 9.54 seconds, please go to the contact us section of this website.
